Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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