i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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