i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
