That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
