i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
