Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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