Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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