you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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