I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
