Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
