Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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