If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
