hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
What drink are we having for lunch?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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