Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
