If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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