I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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