Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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