we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
