Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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