I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
