dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
