He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
