Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
