I'm drive I can fine osifer
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My dick has a subreddit
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
