then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
