Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
