Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
