Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
