I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
