I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize