No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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