some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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