They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
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It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
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We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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