well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize