his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
