no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
