It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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