One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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