I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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