She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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