i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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