now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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