He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
