I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
