so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize