I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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