my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
