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can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
