so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
