Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
