Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
