i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
