just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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