My liver just broke up with me...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize