My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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