try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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