so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
