repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
