how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
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he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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