it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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