i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
