he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I don't deserve a penis
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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