you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize